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    When i put up my bird feeders this year, i barely managed to walk away before the flocks descended on them. If i can brush the flies off a dog turd, stick it in a persons mouth and that person can continue grinning and talking while just kinda tonguing that dog turd between cheek and gum like a chaw of tobacco, without ever missing a beat, ill show you a real politician. I believe that he realized that he wasnt going to make it to mama, so he reached down without ever slowing his stride, picked up the only goddam rock within 50 miles and threw it at me.

    Sam is the sort i wouldnt be surprised to see in webbs seed & feed store outside springfield, jawja some day. His body is scar-free, except for one little character mark on his face from where he fell into the trampoline springs at a neighbors house one day. Do they still operate? Are they still piloted by malevolent assholes like shorty? Do they still play that horrible, static-plagued music over big loudspeakers on the truck? Do excited kids still chase them down the street somewhere in this country? Did ice cream trucks go the way of the drive-in movie and just fade away to extinction? Or do they still operate in the inner city--- selling crack cocaine as their snow cones and dealing joints instead of popcicles? Maybe instead of becoming extinct, ice cream trucks evolved to fit a new market.

    The cashier asked for a picture id, so i showed her my drivers license. The war on (some) drugs is a ceaseless battle, requiring eternal vigilance, because the drug pushers are so damn clever. Take really good care of them and theyll display their gratitude by hacking up a hairball on your carpet.

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